Waiting on the Lord

Me, sitting in a metal folding chair. Eyes closed tight. No peeking. That’s cheating. First, I smelled the church basement. They all kinda smelled the same in those youth group days: cleaning supplies and the lingering smell of the potluck earlier in the afternoon. Next, I hear my friend Beth scratching her sweater and Todd nervously  tapping his Nikes on the chair. His dad (the youth pastor) pats his knee, a sign to stop. I peeked. We continue to sit in silence for what seemed like hours. My stomach makes hungry sounds. We share a nervous giggle. Pastor Rod graciously helps us return to quietness and, we wait.

The assignment was to just sit for a few minutes and listen and wait for God to speak first. That day I did not hear the voice of God or feel the Holy Spirit’s prompting, but this was one of my first memories of being introduced to the idea of “waiting on the Lord,” or meditating. As an adult some of my most treasured times with God have simply been sitting in his presence, listening for what he will impress upon my heart; adoring him, worshiping him and thanking him for all that he has done for me. I cherish those times.

As a young mom, I have lost my endurance and patience for this practice. And in the mornings I can barely drink my coffee before it becomes lukewarm. If you have a toddler you know what I’m talking about. I don’t hate a lot of things, but lukewarm coffee, that’s on the list! I can’t even count how many times I travel to and from my microwave in the morning. Being a mother is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s also the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done. Meditation and “waiting on the Lord” have not been high on my priority list lately, until I heard my pastor preach last week.

At the end of the sermon, my pastor mentioned how when he dies he will look back and cherish most the times when he just sat in the presence of God and enjoyed him. I could have bust out in tears right there and then. I knew what he was talking about. Many memories with the Lord came flooding back to me. It hit me in that moment, just how thirsty I have been for that quality time, just sitting with Jesus. Just being with the Father is what I’ve needed most.  Of course, I need the Word of God; of course, I need to hear worship songs, but what I need most is to sit before Jesus, receive his love and hear the Gospel afresh. Jesus is the bread of life, he is the living water and I need to get my heart and mind in a place to receive that every day.  

Our relationship with Jesus is the most precious relationship we have. Nature is pointing us back to our creator. Jesus is interceding for us. The Holy Spirit is drawing our hearts to the Father supernaturally and continually. All we have to do is quiet our hearts and minds and say, “I’m here Lord. You have my full undivided attention…” Today, I want to choose you first, Lord. Help my unbelief. Sometimes I believe other things will fill me up, but you are my first and best portion. There is no better relationship than the one I have with you, Jesus. I love you.  Thank you for loving me.

Much thanks to Rod, my high school youth pastor. Thank you for teaching me how to wait on the Lord. This is one of the most important things I’ve ever learned. Over 20 years later and I’m still practicing. Praise God.