Cultivating Community: Spring 2023
This spring issue of “Cultivating Community” is a little different than my previous ones. In the past I have dropped a bunch of ideas about activities or hosting opportunities to create space for us to connect. More in the vein of “what to do." This post is more of the “how to do it.” The mechanics, if you will. I’ve been a part of several different denominations over the years, participated in various kinds of bible studies, small groups, special event teams, discipleship formats, etc. Not to say that I’m an expert by any means, but over the years I’ve observed many people and groups do christian community really well and there are certain biblical traits and themes that I keep seeing again and again. In my opinion, it’s less about the program, the curriculum, or the special events. Rather, the roots of authentic and genuine community could embody the following:
The Gospel: This might seem obvious, but sometimes in our best efforts to “build community” or “build relationships” we miss the mark. As Christians we are first called to love God and then love people. Not the other way around. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Let's be rooted and overflowing with the Gospel. Let communion with the Lord be the “main meal” that we bring the table with our people. By his spirit and his power he is the one who is connecting us and building his church.
Be the First: A sincere invitation into a relationship is a hallmark of people who are rooted in the Gospel. Questions like: Do you wanna sit with me during the service? You wanna come over for dinner? Do you want to come over for coffee while my kids are napping? Wanna join us and our friends for a game night? Those who are rooted in the Gospel often have these kinds of questions on the tip of their tongue, and typically they are the first to extend an invitation. Sometimes I think Chick-fil-a employees are better at welcoming, hosting, and serving than the average local church attendees. Don’t let the enemy’s lies or your own personal fears or insecurities be a part of making that first step of connection: the invitation. We are called to love as Christ loves his church. He loved us and he came after us first. Let us then be imitators of Christ and be the first in inviting people into relationship (1 John 4:19).
Yes & No: Matthew 5:37 says, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” We are living in a really interesting time where canceling has become very normal, even an expected part of trying to connect. We can blame this on a lot of different things; technology, covid, “flaky” friends, fear of intimacy, whatever! However, as believers we are called to love in a much different kind of way than the world. I think we should strive to be known as people of our word. Now, there will always be circumstances beyond our control, but for what is in our control let us be slow to speak and be faithful to do what we said we would do. I’d even go as far as to say, even if you don’t feel like going to an event, or meeting one-on-one with someone, still show up if you said yes. We are not called to be led by our feelings in the faith but in spirit and in truth.
Faithfully Meet: Relationships are complicated but I think if people gave relationships a chance, over time they would be surprised just how deep and meaningful relationships can be if you’re just willing to be patient with the process. My challenge to us all is to faithfully meet. Keep showing up to church, small group, or whatever kind of group you are in. If you only come when it suits you, or when it’s convenient for you, you’re missing out. Part of the authentic Christian community is faithfully walking with people through the mundane, the celebrations, the tragedies and the slightly less mundane moments. The Lord is building his Church; jump on in and faithfully be a part of the action.
Be Sincere: Take a moment and read Romans 12:9 - 18. The NLT says it like this: “Don’t pretend that you love others. Really love them.” We are called to love one another and it’s gotta be sincere. So, maybe you don’t like the person sitting next to you on a Sunday morning. So-what. We’re not called to be a part of a church based on the premise of liking everyone there. We’re called to really love people. How do you DO that? I feel like I’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of what it means to love people the way that God does. But I do know, like anyone else who is married, that the covenant you committed to means that you’re sticking around even when you don’t like your spouse. I think this is a part of what we as the Church need to grow in: Sticking around even when it’s hard. And it will be hard. Sometimes it’s hard to be a part of the local church. Would you stay with your congregation if there was a change in pastoral leadership? Would you leave if your worship leader changed the style of music that played on Sundays? And whatever question you might be asking yourself, is that issue, concern and disagreement worth leaving your church for? There are a million reasons for us all to go, but one calling from the Lord, to love Christ and love each other. You already know this, but there is no perfect church. But we can all agree that there is one perfect savior, and that savior is Jesus Christ.
These are all much bigger conversation topics to be discussed. I hope you can use this for yourself but also to discuss at length with the people you surround yourself with in this season. It takes a village. God bless you as you continue doing good where the Lord has planted you.
Grace & Peace
- Sarah