Here are some ideas from my friends and me about how you can start cultivating community right where you are. But before you continue reading, I think it’s important to remember that if you want a real authentic community, you have to be that first. Drop your expectations for others. That only ruins relationships. We can’t expect others to fulfill all the desires and dreams we have for the community. Ultimately it is the Lord who will satisfy our souls which frees us to enjoy those who surround us. So if YOU want deep meaningful relationships in your church, your neighborhood or among your friends – let it begin with you. Start that party train and see who jumps on board. ***Cue that classic 90’s pop song, C’Mon ‘N Ride It (The Train) ***

Disclaimer: the cast of characters who show up may not be who you expected or even initially wanted in the room but it will be who is supposed to be there and God is gonna rock your world with how radical and deep his love is for you and his people. God is weaving together his Church and that includes every nation and every tongue and every tribe. Not to mention “those who love Neil Diamond and those who don’t.” Coffee date on me for the one who knows that reference!

Cultivate:

1. Prepare and use (land) for crops or gardening.

2. Try to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill).

Community:

1. A unified body of individuals: such as…

a) People with common interests living in a particular area

b) A group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a large society

Cultivating Ideas

Podcast Group: My aunt had this great idea! If you don’t have time to read this summer, start a Podcast Group instead of a Book Group. I think discussion groups like this are best when kept small to make space for deeper discussion. What a great way to start a conversation revolving around a genre or topic you and other people care about. And people who can’t make it in person can join via Zoom, Facetime or whatever device is most convenient.

Backyard Movie Night: Got a bigger group of friends with kids coming over? After they are tuckered out from running around, set up an outside movie projector and backdrop, pop the popcorn and watch a movie! This is a great option if you have a smaller home or don’t have a great space for kids to play freely.

Summer Bible Study: Summer bible studies are in full swing in our community. Here’s the thing: it’s not too late to show up and jump in. This is your friendly reminder that it’s never too late to join a group if the door is still open. The Devil is always after us, trying to make us think it’s “too late” or “you missed your opportunity.” SHUT UP, SATAN. You are dumb.

BYOB Open House: Don’t want to host a food-centered gathering? Make it a casual post-dinner BYOB hang. I know drinking can be a tricky thing to navigate in Christian Community, but God will give you wisdom and discernment when it’s appropriate to host these kinds of gatherings and when it’s not. Be free and love your people.

Girls & Guys Nights: Host a guys and/or girls night for the members of your small group. Create space and time where people can just do something fun and enjoyable together. In this situation, childcare should be easier, hypothetically. The parents staying home can watch the kids on their own OR those parents could even meet up at a park or have a picnic dinner where their spouses enjoy a night out. Christian Community is not all work and no play. Part of doing life-on-life should be enjoying fun activities together or just something as simple as going out to eat together.

Double Dates: If you didn’t know, couple friends are 100% harder to find than a single friend. This was a devastating realization when I got married. It’s complicated to say the least. But if you are lucky enough to find them, cherish them. Make time for them. Love them. Serve them. And make time to go out and have a good time together. If you haven’t landed that dream couple, now is the time to start dating around ; )

Prayer Walk Pal: If you have someone from your church who lives in your neighborhood reach out and invite them to go on a prayer walk with you this summer. If the first time goes well, ask them again, even propose a regular date and time to walk and pray. Pray for each other, your Church, your leaders, your neighbors, even revival in your own neighborhood…wouldn’t that be amazing? Lord, let it be!

Costco Date: I just wanted to share one of my favorite dates this summer so far – Costco dates with my dad. My dad has always loved grocery stores. Why? I have no idea. But, he does love food, so I guess that makes sense! What we do is we go to COSTCO. We shop, talk, share prayer requests, shop and talk some more and then we get a big hotdog and a soda. It’s great. One of the things I have always loved about my dad is that he has been so intentional to make quality time for me. I can’t even begin to describe how precious our dates have been in the past, and now as an adult daughter. Love you, Dad. All that to say I think we need to normalize having quality time with people doing everyday things. Have you ever invited people over to help weed your garden or purge your garage or share in your afternoon coffee ritual while kids nap? Christian fellowship is in the everyday mundane. Often times I find that that is the most meaningful: when you are invited into someone’s real life.

Roommate Worship Nights: One of my favorite things of all time was the worship nights that my roommates and I used to host. Wow, how precious those times of extended worship were. In a small house, practically shoulder to shoulder with the saints just singing sincerely to Jesus. Beautiful. If it’s at all possible – make it happen. Note: If you don’t know anyone who plays piano or guitar ask your worship pastor if they could lead an evening of worship either in your home or at church. Or perhaps ask the worship pastor if they could recommend someone from the worship team who’d be willing to lead.

Local Events: In most towns there is always something social happening. Even though our town is relatively modest, in the summer time it feels like there’s something happening every weekend. For example: my husband and I just attend an event called, “Making Music Normal,” which was hosted by the city. In our small down town area there were multiple local artists performing live music Friday & Saturday. It was such a fun time. This is one of my favorite events in the summer. Take the pressure off of hosting something yourself and simply invite people to attend an event with you. Especially when you are first getting to know someone, going to an event or doing an activity together can serve as a really casual and fun way to spend time together and let conversation organically flow.

Happy summer to you all!

Sarah