Homemaking: A Dying Art
A few years ago I was listening on the radio (Yes, I still listen to FM radio) to an interior designer/historian being interviewed about how the home goods industry—and home improvement industry in general—is booming. The designer said we are living in an age where people are turning their homes into “stages” or “backdrops” for the lives they want to portray on social media platforms. Home ownership is evolving. It’s more about curating a look, a brand, a stylized life, rather than what homes have historically always been: A place to live and raise a family.
This interview has stuck with me because I initially heard it around the time we bought our first house and started remodeling our kitchen. I had a real heart check from the Holy Spirit. I was one of those people they were describing on the radio. I knew in my heart I had become pretty obsessed with our kitchen renovation and achieving a certain “look”. It’s not a sin to want your house to look nice, right? But if the Holy Spirit brings conviction, don’t quench that, girl! (1st Thessalonians 5:19). The desire to want our homes to be beautiful is a good thing. God is beautiful. He created us - humans are beautiful because we are made in the image of God. It is in every human to want to create beautiful places and things, just like our Father. This is good and right. But we Christians need to wise up to the times. There is a beauty culture that is being preached SO loudly on social media platforms that is hollow, it’s a complete fantasy and it can be idolatrous.
It was very laughable that before I started writing this post I got distracted on Instagram by trending home decorating photos and renovation videos. As I was scrolling I just kept thinking: real "home-making” is in danger of becoming extinct.” Too dramatic? I’m prone to that. But ponder this with me: I think a Christian generation is being raised through social media to covet the look and aesthetic of a house rather than the Godly character that makes home-making what it is. It’s way less about what our houses look like. We need to understand our need to fashion our character, our hearts, and hospitality in love and service towards one another. The people make a house a home.
There are very valuable lessons that we Millennials and the subsequent generations needs to observe and ponder about older women and the heart of their home making. There are many older women who I’d love to give a shout-out to, but I’ll talk about Suzanne’s house because I was there not too long ago (and it’s one of my favorite places).
As I walked through Suzanne and John’s home recently all I could think is: This is a home that has such a rich history of hospitality, impossible to fully describe. So many memories comes to mind: parties celebrating every kind of occasion (Easter, Hanukkah, Birthdays, you name it, they’ve done it!), home concerts, weeknight dinners, casual drop-bys that turn into two hour long conversations, the list goes on! And music! So much good music. If you know the Josts you know what I’m talking about.
This house is also a place that is 100% Suzanne. A ceramic pig wearing pearls, Calvin and Hobbes books in a basket next to the toilets in the bathrooms, colorful cloth napkins, extra house slippers for guests to wear, a spoon with melted ice cream on it…just kidding, it’s a piece of art that looks like a spoon with melted ice cream on it. The spoon is on her kitchen desk near their home phone. Yes. They still have a landline. There’s lots of quirky art around here reminding us all not to take ourselves too seriously. I’d say this is an eclectic home showing no partiality to style, decade or aesthetic. I like that. It’s freeing and there’s no pretense of fear of messing something up. As opposed to my white couch in our living room which only evokes fear and anxiety in the hearts of all my young mom friends. I can hear them all praying under their breath: “Lord, please don’t let my kid do anything to that couch….daaaaaaamn, my kid just smeared their boogers on Sarah’s couch!” Little do my friends know that I myself have wiped my boogers on that white couch. It was a subconscious act while read a book (I’m embarrassed to say), but it happened. Let’s be real.
What’s also special is this place has not changed much since my earliest memories here. Of course furniture has moved and pictures have been rearranged, but cosmetic updates are not a priority. The same cream colored countertops from the early 90s are still in the kitchen. Rooms haven’t been painted. There’s still burgundy floral wallpaper in main floor bathroom and it’s not going to go away either. Coming into a home that is not influenced by the trends of the day is very liberating. Fast fashion is not just a clothing term. It’s also applicable to home decorating and I think it’s ruining our perception of real home-making. Home-making is about making a home for people.
What I have come to observe about the Josts is their hearts’ desire is to spend time with people. Curating and fussing over how their house looks is not a priority. And for me, as a new home owner, that is something I want to be conscious of. Suzanne’s house is how she likes it and that’s enough. Hosting and offering their home up as a place to celebrate together, to eat together, having deep meaningful conversations together and being able to be a safe space to share together. Their home is for people - this is a wonderful example how we can express the Gospel.
Being in our house so much this season has really made our home come into focus for me and my heart behind behind the choices that I make. Lord help me to remember that home-making is a dying art. It is the art of dying to myself and giving life to Christ. This is the heart of home-making: Loving God and loving people.
Father God,
Fashion my character to be servant motivated like you, Jesus
Free me from caring what other’s think about how my house looks
Bring freedom from comparison
Help me to humble myself and learn from the women who are older than me, who have spent decades cultivating their homes and their hearts.
Help me to remember our house is for living for You, and building Your kingdom
Free me from a legalistic mindset - our home can be beautiful and aesthetically pleasing
Thank you Jesus for the grace to learn as we go.
Amen