Leslie & Maddie: Part Two
We all take a pause to eat a fresh baked cookie that Leslie brought. Yum!
Sarah: Maddie, at least for now, you and Jordan are called here to this town. We know baking bread is your jam right now and it’s just a blessing in more ways than one. Can you tell us a little about how God is speaking to you and teaching you through this time of being home and baking bread?
Maddie: It feels a little weird to talk about bread as if it’s a person, buuuuut that’s what I do. I love bread and it’s been a sweet journey because baking came into my life when I was not using my brain or my energy how I needed to be renewed or refreshed or challenged. The mundane of motherhood was getting to me and I was envious of Jordan being able to pursue his passions in writing. I wanted a new passion for myself. And thankfully, Jordan is a great supporter of me being able to do things for myself to fill my cup. So, when I told him my desires to pursue a new thing, he was like absolutely! I want to help you find whatever that thing is. He first asked me: What is your dream? What desires do you want to explore? What are you passionate about? Me? I had no idea.
The moment of inspiration came from Pam (from The Office), Jenna Fischer who I follow on Instagram was sharing her bread-making journey and I was hooked. I was addicted. I was like, Jordan, this is what I’m gonna do. And Jordan said, “Ok! Let’s make it happen.” I bought a book and I bought some flour and then I just dove headfirst into the deep end. I baked through a whole cookbook, over 50 recipes in about two months. I mean, I was a baking maniac.
Bread gives my brain a challenge but also gives my brain a break. It’s both for me. And through this processes of bread making, there has been a lot that God has taught me: Patience (it takes a long time to make a good loaf from scratch), observation (learning from my mistakes and paying attention to what needs to change), enjoyment, beauty AND it’s delicious. It’s something that is very practical and it’s a treat to make something from scratch. And at the end of the day, I’ve discovered that I really love making bread for other people. It’s been cool to see how God has used making bread as a way to connect with people. And I love that. I love feeding people. I love being able to serve people with this new skill.
So the One Thing Kneaded story…
When Martha and Mary (I think we all know that story), you know they’re like doin’ stuff but then Mary’s like just sitting at Jesus’s feet enjoying his presence and Martha’s anxious and worried about many things (which has been the story of my entire life!!!). Martha’s off doing all kinds of crap in the kitchen and is like, Jesus! What you gonna do about my sister? She is NOT being a good helper! And Jesus is like, Martha, Martha you are anxious and worried about many things but there is one thing needed. I was reading that verse one day while I was making bread and it hit me the truth of the story. And I knew that’s what I wanted to name my little home baking hustle. Baking bread is a task that allows me to sit at his feet, at the feet of Jesus. When I bake, my brain is clear and my mind can focus on something else for a bit. It’s a moment of clarity: I can thank God almighty that I have ‘ this flour,’ that I have this home,’ I have ‘this water running from my faucet’ and I have a neighbor who I can give this bread to.
I can see the story of “one thing kneaded” sink in again to Maddie’s heart as she speaks. She pauses.
Maddie: Baking is very precious to me.
I can’t even describe the tenderness and the humor in the room on this particular night. Our social lives have been so, not social this last year. Our time together seemed even more sweet and precious, like Maddie said. Good face-to-face conversation is even more of a treasure and blessing to me now on this side of the pandemic…perhaps God has been in the work of making us appreciate what we have, right in front of us.
Sarah: What would you both say to young believers about their calling and location? I think some people are transient, like Paul. Their journey in life is in motion. Others are called to be planted like Anna, the prophet praying in the temple. And some find themselves unexpectedly uprooted and transplanted. How do you discern the will of God regarding calling and location?
Leslie: I have a quote! It’s “ You go where you are sent, and you stay where you’re put, and you give what you’ve got until your done.” – Jill Briscoe from the If Gathering back in 2017.
That quote really changed my mind about where we live because when I initially came to this town I did not want to be here, at all. I thought I’d go back to the Chicago suburbs or we talked about moving out to California, or somewhere fun and exciting sounded great. But early on when we started out in ministry, each year we’d ask each other that question, “Do we want to stay or do we want to go?” And we just kept saying, “No, we wanna stay!” It’s just funny how God changes our hearts and minds, ya know? So, I’d say, be open to where God leads you: like the picture of planting a garden, tending it and seeing what grows.
Last year I told Charlie, this is really where I want to be, I don’t want to be anywhere else. And that was the same season that God moved us on from our long-term ministry commitment (or however that works). It was really hard don’t get me wrong, but I have to say that, it was also very freeing. We looked at each other and were like, okay, this season is over. Where do we want to go next?
Jill Saxon said, “Even if your circumstances change, your calling doesn’t change.” That was really important to hear because I needed to be reminded that we are still called and gifted the same way, it’s just that the location has changed. And it’s been sweet that the Lord has honored some of my personal desires and prayers in this process. I think sometimes people discourage our desire but I think we need to also be reminded that a lot of our desires are good and they come from God.
Also just a shout-out answer to prayer: We have no previous relationships in Connecticut where we will be church planting, but the Lord has already taken care of that in so many ways. One example: there’s a woman who’s already planning a ladies luncheon for me so I can be introduced to the other women who are also a part of the church plant or already living in the town. I mean so, so sweet. It just really blesses me.
Did that answer the question! Sorry! I think I went on a tangent!
Sarah: You hit the nail on the head, man. And I ask the question because my heart is for college students and those post-college years where you step out on your own and your calling and location get really challenged. Faith, trust and hope in God get really challenged. It’s like, aaaah God where do I go? And who do I go with? I think for singles in the church this is a particularly difficult season, if you don’t get married right out the gate like so many do. At least I felt that.
Leslie: Absolutely! And even if you do get married you’re asking, “God! Am I supposed to go and do whatever my husband wants?! What about my desires and my calling?”
Sarah & Maddie: ONE-HUNDRED-PERCENT!
Laughter ensures while we drink the last sips of our wine in a can. **Don’t knock it till you try it**
Leslie: I think it’s important to find people who are older than you. Because you just need to see the realities of what’s going on in their season of life. Especially young married people. You need to see solid Christian families living it out.
Sarah: Absolutely! You need perspective on your own life as well as being open to receiving wisdom from people who know more than you. Life is not a google search. We are humans and we learn by doing, watching and observing and mimicking. I think Christians need to surround themselves with other believers who are doing the work in the season ahead (babies, grief, victories, answered prayers, etc.).
Maddie, you are Leslie’s juxtaposition. Leslie is being called away and you are being called here, to stay…and girl you better stay I can’t lose any more friends to marriage, moving or calling!
Maddie: Giiiiiirl. I love you. We’re here. Don’t worry. So we are here but we’re also in a strange marriage dynamic right now (as you know). We started out going to the same church and basically believing the same things, but over the years my husband has converted to Catholicism and, I’m, not! It’s really tough feeling like I’m called to one church but my husband feels called to another church. The question I’m asking is, “How do you live out that calling together as disciples of Christ?”
So, now it’s been over two and half years since we left our previous church and we still haven’t found a “home.” It’s really hard. But when I ask God, what are we to be doing here, Jesus is like: Tend to your folk. Take care of your people. And show the love of God. And for now, that doesn’t need to happen, in a church, or a certain organization. This is the season we are in.
I think I had it in my head for a long time that I needed to find another church that was exactly like my precious church ASAP! And if I’m being completely honest there’s still a part of me that wants to be planted at a formal church with a mission statement and that has a bulletin and I can be on a serving team etc. But then I have a heart check. My whole allegiance is to God. Period. And I get to do that in whatever church body He calls me to. And the truth is there are many different church bodies that I could do that through. AND the truth is I could do that through the Catholic Church, BUT I don’t want to. And I could do that through this church or that church or a million different churches. But I feel like there’s a lie that I believe that it’s the church that’s going to make me a disciple but no, I am a disciple of Jesus. I’m not a disciple of this church or that church, I am a disciple of Jesus. I’m so glad that my husband and I have come to that realization. It’s like you said Leslie, the calling doesn’t change.
For now, God has called me here in this location, in this neighborhood and to my friends. I wanna be consciously aware of their needs and how to meet the need of the people that I’m in close proximity to.
Leslie: Something I was thinking of while you were sharing Maddie is, for the new younger believer, boundaries are good. So you know doing all the personality tests, spiritual gifting tests, soul searching and asking people what do you think I’m good at- that’s great. Then take the time to think about what your practical realities are. For example, realities of my dreams are going to be lived out differently in this town as opposed to when we plant this church in Connecticut in good and bad ways. And it’s always going to be like that: life is a mixed bag of good and bad but if we can embrace what we have right in front of us we will find real contentment and joy in living out this Christian life. So if you are single or if you are married (or whatever season you find yourself in), there is always a way to use your gifts and your talents for the Lord.
Sarah: What prompted that thought?
Leslie: I think there’s this lie that we Christians believe that I can only use my gifting or my talents or pursue my calling “when I get married” or “when I’m an empty nester.” Ya know?
Maddie: Or like “when I get a house of my own” then I’ll be able to serve or host the way I’d like to, etc.
Leslie: Oh yeah!
Sarah: What advice do you have for first-time homeowners if they are interested in hosting and entertaining on the regular as a part of serving their church and neighborhood?
Leslie: Use what you got. I think that’s what it always comes back to. You make the most of what you have until you move on to something else. For us, we are actually downsizing with our next home in Connecticut, which seems backward at our stage of life and with how many kids we have but that’s what the Lord has for us. I’m learning again that you don’t need tons of space to host or serve people. One of the women who hosted us during our first visit said that you don’t need more space, you just need less stuff. That will always stick with me.
And taking advantage of third spaces, like parks, coffee shops, there are options beyond your own house. And even living here in this town we’ve done that a lot and it’s just been great. And you know, just not getting mad about what you don’t have, because the truth is you probably don’t need it like you think you do.
Practically for the first-time homeowner, take your time. From the beginning to the end of the process we looked at about fifty houses and we ended up with a completely different house than we originally wanted. What changed is we ended up in a neighborhood, which was great, and we got a house that didn’t need a lot of work done to it, which was the best decision for us. So you need to identify if you are the kind of people who really enjoy house projects. Does that give you life? You need to know that before you buy a house. House projects take a lot of time, energy and money and we knew that since we are already working for a ministry that our lives didn’t have the margin for that. SO, our house doesn’t have a lot of character like I prefer, but we really didn’t have to do much to it.
Sarah: I think you’re spot on. I think at the end of the day people don’t care what your house looks like or even really what they ate. People just want to be invited. We want to feel seen and that our company is desired.
Maddie: Yes! And Leslie we felt the same when we moved into the neighborhood. I wanted to live in a neighborhood. I wanted to have neighbors who were close. I never had that, even as a kid. So, that was on my agenda when we were house hunting. I will say though, I don’t love having backyard neighbors. It’s real awkward at times. I don’t love it. I need hedges… or something!
Maddie and Leslie then swap stories about attempting to maintain modesty only after the moment of realizing that your neighbors can definitely see into your home more than they should! We’ve all be there.
Leslie: Another thing we would ask was, what is the identity of the neighborhood? Or does the neighborhood do things together? So like there was one we were looking at that did a Fourth of July parade and another did an Easter egg hunt. And if they don’t do events like that could this be an opportunity for you to start a new tradition to help bring the neighborhood together. It’s also important to remember that this kind of neighborhood closeness and community is not based on house price. It’s the people who live in the homes.
Maddie: One of the things I love from my youth is that the neighbors we did have were like family. My Godparents are my childhood neighbors. I mean, that’s how close we were - real tight. My mom was really, really close to the families to our right and to our left. I mean she needed that, she was recently divorced because my dad had cheated. In that season she needed good neighbors but she also needed family (because her family was so far away), and over time those neighbors really did become family for us. I’m always trying to get back to that. Trying to get that kind of closeness.
Sarah: Leslie, what practical steps will you implement when you arrive in your new home and town? What are your ideas for building community there specifically in your new neighborhood?
Leslie: Yeah, it’s gonna be different because in Connecticut we’ve observed that there’s not a lot of neighborhoods. A few things that I’ve done already are, I’ve reached out to Chi Omega chapter/alumni near where we will be living since I was really involved when I was in college. So just looking for opportunities for commonality. I like the idea of getting involved again with Chi Omega because there’s opportunity to get to know women of a variety of ages with the alumni aspect. There’s also this thing called MommaCollective there. It’s like small groups for moms so when we move I could sign up and join that right away which is exciting. And you know just the idea of joining what’s already there excites me because everyone we’ve met so far has been very friendly and inviting.
We do plan to have a schedule and rhythm to our week so we can hopefully regularly bump into the same people. So like Sundays, we’ll be at church - Mondays we’ll be at the beach and you know maybe Tuesday will be our coffee shop days. The goal being, to be at these places around the same time. And honestly, at the beginning, we’re just going to have to take it day by day. There’s just going to be so much newness, and I think we will need to take things slowly and steadily. We do want to make time to establish our family in this new place first before we dive into anything headfirst.
I think also we have to be open to what the Lord has in a day. One day you might not meet a friend, but the next you will and just being okay with whatever unfolds. So being open while also being mindful of what imminently surrounds you, like the people who are coming to church, our new neighbors, people we will see regularly at the beach or coffee shops.
But again, I want our foundation and our main priority to be our family. That we are grounded in relationship with each other: this is the most important thing for me.
At this point in the conversation, we formally ended our interview but lingered in conversation for much longer than any of us originally planned. The enjoyment of conversing, sharing and learning by listening was equally celebrated and savored as the minutes passed us by. By the end of it, the only way I knew that it was late was that all the wine had been drunk and we all had a little glow about us. Could have been the wine or could have been the Holy Spirit. We’ll just say it was both. Cheers!