Confession: I almost tossed this whole post out the window. Who wants to read a blog post about “Showing Up” when people are barely leaving their houses for groceries? The Lord is teaching me a deeper and more significant way of what ‘showing up’ looks like in the midst of one of the most isolating seasons of our lives. Here’s what I think about what “showing up” means in the light of our current global circumstances:

Show up, for your own life.

When things get hard, historically I respond in one of two ways:

One - I turn into a spiritual defensive linebacker…who am I kidding? I don’t even really know what a linebacker does! All I know is they are on the defense and that’s all that matters to make this point - roll with me friends! When I’m thriving spiritually, I get feisty and my righteous angry girl comes out. POW, SATAN! I AM A CHILD OF GOD! GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU LYING PIECE OF S***. Or…

Two - when things get hard and I’m not thriving, I forget that I’m a child of God. I forget that I’m His beloved. I start acting like an orphan. When I’m an orphan I become self-reliant, looking to myself to get me through the day. When I’m an orphan sometimes I look to other people or things to give me something to hold on to. One of my personal “tells” for when I’m not doing well is that I allow myself intentionally and unintentionally to become distracted. My heart becomes distracted by lesser things and then in my mind, I’m everywhere else except in the moment.

Recently I’ve been distracted. I’ve sensed my heart and my spirit turning inward. I have felt very unfocused because I have been afraid of the present and the future. If that’s you too *SOUND THE ALARM FRIENDS!* The Lord is still the same. He is still a good, good Father. He has not changed and He has a good word for you today. Jesus is alive! Just as He lives we live too for His glory. Let’s show up for our own lives and receive what the Lord has for us.

The Lord’s funny. The Lord woke me up to my reality while I was trying to escape it. I don’t know about you but my COVID - 19 distraction tool of choice has been screen time: YouTube, Instagram, Netflix, movies, etc. These have all been my way of distracting myself from living in the present.

My husband and I were watching Peter Jackson’s “The Lord of the Rings”…the extended version. (Yes, you read that correctly, the extended version. I’ve come to learn that loving my husband well through this COVID – 19 pandemic looks like watching the extended version of “The Lord of the Rings”. That’s all I’ll say about that.) I’ve seen this movie many times now thanks to my sister’s obsession with Frodo, Sam and all things Elvis…I mean, Elvish (hope that made you laugh, Hannah). I’ve seen it enough times that I am pretty familiar with this epic saga. You know how it goes, when things become familiar something is lost; the perspective, the novelty, the enjoyment, revelation, gratitude, etc. So I was deeply touched when I heard these lines again, almost as if for the first time:

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

God, that’s what I needed to hear: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” It seems so obvious, but I’ve been so distracted because I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed. The virus, how it’s changed our lives and the people we love. Most recently my husband’s job has gone through some unexpected changes. The future is unknown in so many different aspects. And all I want to do is escape the unknown. The good news is: this moment is known and I am known in it by an awesome God. God is holding me here in this moment and in it, I have need of nothing. I am deeply comforted that all I have to do is decide what I am going to do with what I have in front of me, today. All I have is this moment

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34

There are too many things that could steal us away today but fight that temptation. Let’s practice showing up for our own lives. The Lord has plans for you and me (Jeremiah 29:11). Lord, open our eyes, our spirit to the good gifts that you have placed right in front of us, right now.

How I am practicing showing up for my own life…

Sticking to my regular routines: My friend Claire gave me a “Gratitude Journal” a few years ago. I quickly filled it up and continue the practice of making a list of 10 things I am grateful for every day.
Shutting down, kicking out, punching in the face any negative thoughts: I don’t have time for that. I have a life to live for Jesus.
Purposing to enjoy what’s surrounding me: My home, my husband, my little girl, the food on my plate…
Less screen time: It’s hard, but I’m always glad when I do…
Deep breaths: When I do take nice, deep, slow breaths I’m reminded that it is God Himself who fills up my lungs. He has made the very air that I breathe.
Listening: Take the time to really listen to people and what they are really saying. Take the time to listen to what God has to say, more than what you have to say.
Taking my time: We’re all home bound. What’s the rush? Enjoy as much as you are able. Why not?
Walk alone: As an introvert, I just need real alone time where it’s just me and myself. It’s a reset, a refresher to have some time to myself.
Really look: Show people that you really see them, like God really sees you.
Pray: Lord, teach us how to pray.

Lastly, I’d like to dedicate this blog post to my first acting teacher, Doug Rossen, who passed away this winter. He was the first to introduce me to the idea of being still, listening well, and practicing being fully present with myself and other people. Thank you, Doug. Cheers to your life.