Datrice & Claire: Part I

Several years ago, my heart was warmed the day when Claire told me that she (and her husband Dennis) had found true friendship in Datrice (and her husband Nate). God had answered our prayer: That Jesus would bless Claire with a good friend in the city; a person she could be close with relationally and physically be in the same town. The day I got to meet Datrice in person she was everything and more that Claire had described – the best. Datrice was 100% a woman overflowing with the love of God and love for his people. You can’t help being friends with women like Datrice.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago…

Smiles. We all had big cheeky smiles on our faces when I made the FaceTime call to do this interview. I could feel the sweet anticipation to have this conversation. Claire was calling from her home in Chicago, IL. Datrice was calling from her new home in Decatur, IL and I made the call from our home in Bloomington, IL.

The sound of three women laughing loudly

Sarah: Okay, I guess we should start. Where did you two first meet? How did you two become friends?

Datrice: I can’t wait to hear how Claire tells this story because I’m not quite sure we’re on the same page about how it started. But I would have to say that it goes back to me being a member of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and God was teaching me about what his kingdom looks like. I had a lot of questions. But more specifically I was asking God what it would look like for me to be among a more diverse people group: more diverse than what I was raised around. Ya know, I’m a black woman from just about an all black family, we live in a black community and we attend an all black church but I desired more! I remember praying and actually I wrote it down in one of my journals: “Lord, I would like to have friendship beyond just all black.” But when Claire and Dennise came to Christ Temple (my church) for the first time I did not think, “OH! God is about to answer my prayer! I’m about to get my friend!” I was thinking in my head, “GIIIIRL! What is your story that made you want to join this church?” And so it was more like me trying to find out, why are you here? Why did you move to this neighborhood? I was “shook” as the kids say these days; baffled at why this white couple had come to live in my community!

We all can’t help but laugh. Datrice has the power of a preacher, a comedian’s timing, and charisma that draws even the wallflowers to the dance floor. She’s such a fun storyteller.

Datrice: And when I did hear her story, I said, “girl, you’re going to be my friend, because you’re gonna need me. You moved into this all black community, you’re gonna need me to help you out! You’re gonna need a sista’. And Sarah when you spell that, that sister is with an “A” okay?

Sarah: I got you.

Datrice: I know you do! Little did I know that the Lord would give me a real sister. Now some people assume since I’m 46 and Claire’s 31 that I’m like her “Titus 2 Woman.” But if you learn the wealth of knowledge and wisdom that Claire has and that I’ve received from her, you understand that we both have been able to pour into one another and receive equally. Yes, there’s an age difference, but all I can think is, Claire is my sister. She’s my sister!

Claire: It’s funny to hear you mention the “Titus 2 Women,” because I remember early in our relationship thinking, “OH, Datrice could be my mentor because she’s had so much more experience. And at the time Dennis and I were going through a rough patch; we had just moved to Chicago after student teaching and graduating, I was trying to find a job, just so much craziness so, I was wanting that kind of mentor relationship. But we definitely met at Christ Temple Cathedral. I remember you invited us over to a gathering at your home and that’s when I remember you asking me, “Girl, why are you here?!”

Datrice: Let me cut in! Let me cut in! GIRL, first of all…

Datrice and Claire take a minute to hash out the details: More laughing and clarifying and then more laughing. Datrice and her husband Nate are known in their community for their hospitality. They regularly invited people over to their home for supper. When Dennise and Claire first moved to Roseland, Datrice invited them and several other young couples from the church over for dinner.

Claire: So that was the beginning, but for me, it wasn’t until I had called you, Datrice and asked you if you wanted to get coffee sometime. But you said, “Well I’m gonna’ run a few errands right now, why don’t you come with me? Little did I know that when Datrice “ran a few errands” (Datrice laughs) she’s going everywhere, like for hours! I think that’s when I was like, “Oh, okay she’s gonna be my friend.”

Sarah: What are one or two of your favorite aspects of the other and why?

Claire: Oh man, where do I start? Well, I know that Datrice loves me. When I look back at our friendship I’m just amazed at the different seasons we’ve been through together. Each season has brought all kinds of craziness but every time that Datrice and I would meet, I just knew that I could talk to her and share what was on my heart. I love that Datrice is the kind of woman who is not afraid to call me out, because I need that.  And I know that she’s not just trying to be critical. I know that Datrice loves me and she cares about me. And you know I just don’t think that’s very common in friendship. Now, I have some good friends but you know it still kinda stays on the surface level. And I honestly can’t think of any one conversation with Datrice that was just surface level. We always go deep. Like right away because it’s just the way we are together. That’s why we’re friends!

It’s so good to hear Claire talk. I miss the sound of her voice, her observations, her confidence perfectly balanced in humility. I miss that we don’t live in the same town anymore.

I’d also say, it’s her questions. Datrice is really good at asking questions. Like when we were both in leadership with BSF that was one of the first things I noticed about Datrice - she was really good at asking questions! It’s life-giving to know that someone’s asking deep, personal questions, not just the same “standard” questions, a know? You notice those kinds of things in people. Like you also notice if you’re talking to someone and they really don’t ask you ANY questions. Datrice inquiries about how you are, not just “how are you,” ya know? She honestly wants to know. And I know she’s listening because of her follow up questions. She’s really thoughtful and she brings the lord into every single time! Ha! And you know sometimes, I don’t wanna hear it, but I need to hear it. Let’s be real. Sometimes you just wanna vent about something, but Datrice never let’s me get away with that – what good does that do – just venting? So I think that relational dynamic is incredibly valuable.

OH and lastly I’d just say, I love how extra Datrice is.

The sound of three women laughing heartily