The Gift of Friendship
Friendship is a gift. You can’t buy it, you can’t search hard enough for it, you can’t manipulate others or pretend to be someone you’re not to “make it work,” because friendship is a gift. Just like marriage, or having a baby, friendship is a gift that only God gives.
My mom was a very attentive person and I think from a young age she perceived that I was naturally shy, introverted and insecure. I think she knew that friendships could potentially be difficult for me. So she prayed that I would have good friends: friends who love Jesus. We even prayed together as I got older for me to have close friends because some would stay, and some would go. With each new season, the Lord answered and gave me friends. But I’ll tell you what; most of them were totally from left field and the most unlikely characters:
Cara was my first friend in the early school days. I’ll never forget that she initiated a friendship with me: a complete stranger and a terribly shy young thing. To this day that is deeply meaningful to me. It’s a snapshot of how the Lord loves us; He loved us first.
In college, I befriended several Christian guy friends who loved me incredibly well. I’m still close with one of those dudes and his wife to this day. What a blessing to still be friends almost 15 years after college. I had asked the Lord for a true brother in Christ, and he gave me Ryan.
Post college was a desperately lonely season, but God gave me Colleen. We knew each other from a distance, but one day, out of the blue, Colleen called me and straight up said, “I just became a Christian! Do you wanna be friends?” Amazing!
When I moved to a new town for graduate school the Lord blessed me to connect with a gal in my small group, Cat! She and her husband loved and cared for me so well as a single woman at our church. I’ll never forget their kindness to me in that season.
Justine and I, as young professionals, were friends, but it wasn’t until our parents' (her father and my mother) health was threatened that we decided to pray and contend for a miracle to save their lives. A new level of friendship was birthed for us in that season.
I think of many others, the list goes on and on. I mean, every transition I just prayed, Lord, please bless me with a friend, AND HE DID. The Lord answered my prayers. It makes me weep when I think of these treasured friendships and the kindness of the Lord.
If you’re looking for a good friend, ask the Lord to give you that good gift. After all, He knows you best. He knows what you like. He knows what makes you laugh. He knows how you need to grow. He knows how you need to understand the humility of Christ. Christian friendships are for a greater purpose: 1. To Glorify God and make him known. 2. To encourage us in our relationship with Christ and 3. To Rejoice in life’s joys and weep in the sorrows together. Yes, you want a person to spill out your guts to. Yes, you want someone to enjoy red wine with, salt and vinegar chips, sushi rolls and binge-watching your favorite show with! Yes, yes, yes. Friends are for enjoying life together. But first (and do not forget this), our friendships are to help point each other back to God. And when people see Christians loving each other well, all that glorifies Jesus and his Church.
From my own personal experience, oftentimes my closest friends have ended up being quite the opposite of what I originally had in mind or what I’m naturally drawn to. I mean one of my closest friends is Presbyterian! That’s just hilarious to me because I broke up with my boyfriend in college because he was into all that predestination, infant baptism stuff! I think that’s part of God revealing his beauty and his body. He’s revealing how the "hand bone is connected to the wrist bone," ya know what I mean? He’s revealing how the charismatic kid is connected to the Calvin kid. He’s revealing how someone with a heart for justice needs to be connected to the prophet. It is the Gospel that binds our hearts together and shows us how to love. When Christians who are very different learn how to love each other it reveals the Glory of God and the real power of his love.
So, surrender your longing for friendship to God. He will provide what you need, when you need it. For today, invite Jesus to satisfy that longing for close relationship with himself. He will do it. He will satisfy your soul with his love. And surrender your ideas about the kind of friends you want. Whether that’s what they look like, or what kind of job they have, sense of humor, or even what kind of church they attend. Surrender your discrimination and your superfluous short list. Ha! Years ago I didn’t want to be friends with this one gal because her level of enthusiasm for life was annoying to me. That’s right. I didn’t want to be friends with her because I thought she was too happy. That very same girl ended up being the matron of honor in my wedding. Isn’t the Lord funny? He knows what we need to help us transform more into the likeness of Christ. The Lord brought me into a new level of freedom and joy through our friendship. I was blind to my own immaturity, but now I see. The Lord knows what we need. Thank you Jesus.
- Sarah